Realityism: The Cure for Self-Help Addiction

You just can't criticize it, can you? It's like calling a baby "ugly".

What could be wrong with something that aims to help you make your life better - to make you richer, healthier and happier?

But "self-help" - and the range of thousands of different books, CDs and DVDs that now occupy shelves in most homes - could be one of the most harmful interests you ever take up.

Let's not blame the bookstores - which dedicate entire sections to the cause. They're out to make money - and feeding this addiction makes them a tidy profit.

It's a multi-billion dollar industry with one inconvenient fact behind it...

Self Help Doesn't Work

Yes - you read that right. For the vast majority of people who pick up a self-help book, it will make virtually no positive difference to their life. If you are reading this, you probably know this already (but won't admit it... more on "why" later).

If self-help really worked, you'd find statistics on the back of the books rather than testimonials. "82% of readers loose a stone" rather than finding a single person from the hundreds of thousands of readers saying, "This book changed my life!"

It's easy to understand why people fall for self-help. Claims that you can quit the job you hate, and become a millionaire following your dreams (with virtually no effort) is attractive to anyone. Given by the number of books that are sold, you would think most people would now be living the life of their dreams.

...but it gets worse...

If self-help was ineffectual, it wouldn't be so bad. Okay, it doesn't do anything good - but what's the harm?

But, for many people, self-help actually makes their life worse. Instead of helping, the self-help industry has created a generation of debt-ridden, over-weight, self-obsessed and unhappy individuals. Completely opposite to what it was supposed to do!

It does this in several ways.

Firstly, by filling your head with unrealistic expectations about how you are "supposed" to live. They give a very narrow list of what they consider to be successful qualities. These tend to be materialistic, selfish, and based on the idea that an ideal life shouldn't have problems in it.

Secondly, it implies that you don't need to work hard for a good life... that you "deserve" it. All you have to do is remove the blocks to your ideal life.

Thirdly, by making you think that you are the most important thing in the world, you'll quickly find your friends and relatives start spending less time with you. All you do is talk about yourself and your plans, and show little interest in them or their lives.

Fourthly - and this is the most dangerous one - it teaches you that what you think and feel about things is more important than what actually happens, and what you do about it. This means that if your life is a mess, rather than sitting down and trying to consider what went wrong and how to correct it, you spend the time "visualizing" your ideal life.

Weird Values of Self-Help

In general, self-help has provided a set of values that we would probably object to if they were stated blankly to us. They should also be offensive to anyone who follows any of the major world religions.

Let's look at some:

The root to happiness is by owning things
(big house, big car)

You must try to look like a photographic model
(or else you are ugly, and people will laugh at you behind your back)

You/your goals matter more than anyone else
(if your spouse objects to your plans to quit your $100,000-a-year job and start a restaurant, they are a "dream-killer")

Most people are broken, and need fixing
(however you live just now, it's not good enough)

You are in complete control of your destiny
(accidents and bad things happen to other people, and there is no such thing as "luck")

Changing your life is easy
(just follow their "simple 5-step plan", and you'll be rich, good-looking and happy in just a matter of days)

Unfortunately, "truth" isn't one of the values the self-help industry takes too seriously...

The Case of the "Yale Goal Study"

"Goal Setting" is a central theme in virtually all self-help. Therefore, a "killer" piece of evidence is often cited to back up the claims that goal setting is vital in achieving a life of success. You can find references to it everywhere.

The story goes like this...

In 1953, the graduating students of Yale University were asked to complete a survey about their hopes for the future. One of the questions included was "do you have a list of written goals?" Around 10% of the students had goals, and 3% had written them down.

The researchers tracked down the students 20 years later in 1973 and discovered something astonishing. The 3% who had written down their goals were earning more than the other 97% combined!

This was clear evidence of the power of written goal-setting. There was one slight problem...

This study never took place. It was made up, invented out of thin air.

An investigation by Fast Company magazine a few years later could find no evidence of it. When they approached a number of self-help gurus who had quoted it, they ended up being passed onto other gurus, who passed them to others until they were going round in circles. Thus, it's not clear where it started... but certainly not at Yale.

You'll still find references to it in some of the literature of the more popular self-help gurus today.

This is not to say that goal setting doesn't work, but it does cast doubt over the claim that all successful people have written goals. Many of the most successful recording artists over the past few decades are barely literate!

Avoiding Reality

The "Yale Goal Study" sums up the primary issue with self-help. What we want/wish to happen is more important than what actually does happen. These writers wanted the killer evidence to exist to prove what they were selling, so they literally just invented it!

Or, to put it a different way, self-help ends up teaching people to avoid reality.

You'll find quotes like this everywhere...

"reality doesn't exist, only your perceptions matter"

Read that again... REALITY DOESN'T EXIST????

This is the kind of "you're all just characters in my imagination" thinking that psychiatrists deal with daily.

In fact, the very definition of mental illness is people failing to deal with reality and getting stuck in their own head. The self-help industry actually promotes this as a way of life!

Fundamentally, self-help fails people by telling them to withdraw from reality - rather than dealing with it. And it is only through dealing with reality that you have any chance of improving your life long-term.

Perhaps one of the most distressing parts of self-help is that it creates addicts. People looking for answers are deceived into thinking that the books/courses have the answer. They don't. But they do say enough of the right things to make the reader think they are on the right path... and the answer is just round the corner if they buy one more book.

This is no different from the gambling addict, who always believes the big win is just beyond the next bet - which will pay off all the money they've lost.

As their addiction goes further, they get pulled further and further away from reality... and into the world of self-help.

How to Create a Self-Help Addict

The industry has a very clever way to turn people into addicts.

1) Take relatively happy people, with a few small issues in their lives (but, conveniently, wealthy enough to buy books and courses).

2) Make them think they are "missing out," by filling their heads with stories of people who "turned their life around." Explain that they should be millionaires and "living their dreams" or else they are letting themselves down. Pump up their desire.

3) Give them unspecific/feel-good advice, which ultimately fails to help them change their life.

5) Offer to sell them more of the same, which this time will work.

Once they are no-longer happy with their life as it is, they will constantly seek out more and more "advice" to get the life of their dreams they were promised.

After all, they now "know" that they deserve much more than they've gotten out of life.

Are you a Self-Help Addict?

Here's a quick test to see if you have become one of the victims of the self-help industry. See how many of the following apply to you.

1) You owe a lot of money, after attempting to buy your dreams with money you hadn't earned yet

2) You have at least 5 self-help books, audio courses, DVDs etc.

3) You own exercise equipment that you rarely used after the first week, or are a member of a gym you haven't visited in months

4) You feel guilty that you've not achieved your goals

5) You don't think you get paid enough, and spend a lot of time fantasizing about starting a business or getting a big promotion

6) You think that happiness is something that will come in the future, once you own something, or have something that you don't currently

7) You've felt depressed about how things aren't working out at least a few times in the last month

If any of these sound familiar, you may be suffering the results of a self-help addiction.

Ugly Results, Ruined Lives

We can find evidence of the damage the self-help psychology has done to people everywhere.

In the pursuit of easy-riches, hundreds of thousands of people bought up "no-money-down" real estate in property hot-spots around the globe. Many of whom faced financial ruin as the old adage that "property is the best investment" turned out not to be the case in 2008 and some houses are worth a fraction of what they borrowed to pay for them.

How many people have given up on "boring" diets, and fall for every type of pill or machine available? After a week of good results, the weight comes back... with even more on top of it.

And how many people decided that their partner isn't good enough for them after a single argument? Surely if you can't agree on everything, this relationship wasn't meant to be?

Help! You're Depressing me!!!

Before you get too worried that you should dump all your hopes and dreams for the future, and learn to grow up, there is something you need to understand.

Self Help is a method that people take to help meet many of the needs that humans have always had.

There are obviously ways to improve your life, since many successful people lived before the first book was ever written.

What you need is to:

a) Get rid of some of the dangerous ideas that self-help has asked you to accept

b) Learn some strategies for actually dealing with life in the real world

Introducing Realityism

Realityism, as the name suggests, gives reality-based strategies for improving your life.

Realityism takes a fact-based action-focused approach that deals with things as they are... rather than advising you to creating alternative realities in your own head where life is less painful.

If you are obese, you need to eat less and exercise more. Affirming that "I am 10stones, and have a beautiful body" won't shed an ounce of weight.

If you're getting behind on your bills, flicking through a real estate catalogue to help "visualize" a better future won't keep the banks from your door. You need to create a plan to start spending less and/or earning more.

Some of the core principles are:

What actually happens matters more than what you think about what happens

You can only deceive yourself for so long - reality will force you to deal with life eventually

Focus on action, rather than spending too much time thinking (affirmations, visualizations, etc)

Use feedback from the real world to adapt your approach, not your own perceptions

You MUST fail, but in the right way

Most people don't get what they need or want from life. They get what they deserve.

Yes - it may seem hard. If you're horrified at the idea that, to lose weight, you need to go to gym three times a week, then you're a sucker that has fallen for the 5-minute-ab mythology of one-too-many infomercials. Get used to buying bigger clothes.

If, on the other hand, you want to start seeing clear and noticeable improvements in your life, you need to learn about realityism.

In the ground-breaking Realityism - The Cure for Self-Help Addiction, you'll learn:

Five ways to INSTANTLY feel happier (and no... none of them involve inhaling anything!)

Why the news is one of the worst ways to learn about the world

Mathematical proof that "working together" in groups is one of the worst ways to get things done

Why the jobs that typical "dream-seekers" desire the most are actually the WORST paid

How to use the advice from others the right way (and why the normal "ignore criticism" advice from self-help gurus leads to disaster)

How much-loved sports analogies are the WORST to use in a company environment

Why being selfless can be one of the best ways to get everything you want

The way that most people actually become rich

The different between planning and strategy (and why the second is the only way to deal with life)

Realityism WILL NOT improve your life. Only you can do that, through rational actions. No action -> no improvement.

Order "Realityism: The Cure for Self-Help Addiction" Now

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Our Promise To You: We promise that if you don't apply anything you read in this course, there will be no improvement to your life. It's up to you buddy!